Steve's Soulshop

This might look like ordinary road sign board to some of you, but everything I see this sign board, it's like telling me, your life only has one way, there's no turning back.

I really enjoy my life now, even though it's not perfect, even though that I feel down and depressed at most of the time, I always has peers around me to cheer me up. Sometimes, getting over something that is so significant in your life is not easy, in fact, it will take huge courage and determination to do that. And believe me, you can never do it alone. You see, life must go on no matter what, but at some point in life, you might just refuse to go on, you might just try to run away and close your eyes and pretend nothing is happening.

Time will never stop, other people might still going on their life like usual, and seriously, running away is not the solution to the problems. I had been trying to run away from problem since I am young, I never have the courage to face the problem but try to make myself busy, sleep all day long, or just drink the night away.

Yet, I treat life seriously and I know what I am going through right now is just another phase in life that eventually most of the people will go through. At least, I don't regret for what I had done. When I love someone, I love them with all my heart and I will let them know what I feel. Just because life got no turning back and it's just to short to make it sparks. =)

Cheers Mate!

Have you ever feel like......
Have you ever feel like want to run away from things in life?
Have you ever feel like just sleep and never wake up again?
Have you ever feel like want to get drunk?
Have you ever feel like smoking till you feel like vomiting?
Have you ever feel like nobody can understand you?
Have you ever feel like this world don't belong to u?
Have you ever feel like God is not fair?
Have you ever feel like life is a bitch?

It is just a stage in our life that we will have to live with it, even though it's hard.
You can cry your heart out, you can scream your heart out,

or.....

You can just take a step back and smile and let go, because you're doing just fine.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be better in time.

P/S: This post is dedicated to all my friends that is going through hard time right now. Be strong, we can go through this together.

The clock on the wall finally ticking to 7 in the morning, in the less 1 hour, I will be leaving Cyberjaya for my midterm break which is already started 3 days ago.

My life had been real good so far, indeed I did lived it to the fullest for the past few weeks. Recently I had been spending a lot of time hanging out with friends, going out for almost every night and that's crazy, Chelsea football tour, OC supper, Chicken Rick at 4 for few days, Cyberia Mamak Geng gathering almost every night, Financial Engineering Gays gathering and outing. You see, the reason why I do that is just because I want to treasure the moment with peers while I have the chance.

A lot of my friends including me always whining about how sucks is their secondary school life and they want to study in university as soon as possible. But the moment they stepped into the university life, they only started to realised, nothing beats secondary school, where you get to see your friends in class everyday. Then people will start complaining about their university life, rushing assignment, exams and all, they just can't wait to start working, but yet many of them only realised university could be the best time of their life, where can hang out with friends and party like crazy. My point is, why don't people just appreciate and treasure the time they are having now? We only live once and make sure we live to the fullest.

Yet, in this few weeks time, I can't stop asking myself, what do I want to achieve in my life? Where did I go right? Yet, I can't seems to find an answer.

I went to Malaysian Student Leaders Summit 2008 recently organised by UKEC with Chee Wei last weekend and it really been an wonderful experience for me. Meeting people from different university around the world, talking to the big companies about fresh graduates career opportunity had been awesome. At least I get to know what I need to achieve and who I am competing with to enter those big companies.

We traveled from by bus and trains to get the the Nikko Hotel during these 2 days. We can't stop talking about how awful our life will be after we start to work. Wearing formal clothes, waiting for trains, listen to mp3, stuck in traffic jams, apparently we are not even ready for this kind of life yet. I had ask one question to the managing director of Westports, after we work we will only earning linear income, but what we can do to exit from the race rat and achieve financial freedom? But he answered my question this way, "first you must ask yourself what type of career in your life, if you have the PASSION to do it, eventually you will success and you can create your own wealth." I agreed with his answer, but I am not happy with it.

Chee Wei and me bought a bottol of red wine each after the conference and we started drinking the park in front of KLCC. We talked a lot that night, mostly about current life and life that awaits us. It's awesome night, we even managed to help the blind men to cross the road while we are half sober. lol.

What is life? There is no exact answer to this question as everyone has their own definition. It depends what you want to do and what you expect to achieve in your life. So, just be patience with your life now, have fun with it and there is no point of rushing, eventually you will get to figure it out one day.

Till then, I wish you all have a wonderful midterm break and make sure it's a good one.

Dear OCs,

It had been a long time since we are gathered for the OC supper. I miss all of you so much, indeed very much. I am so used to see all of you, talking, joking, dancing and singing together as it there is no tomorrow. I feel my life is so empty right now, when I am doing nothing at home. What I can do is browse through the picture and refresh those beautiful memories.

How's your passion going on right now? Do you still have the passion running in you? Do you still remember those passionate moment we had together? I know everyone had been busy with your personal life right now, be it studies, class, student's activities or relationship. But, do not let the passion inner you go away, because it's the foundation of our friendship.

Failure is bitter. Failure is painful. Failure is cruel.

But yet, how do you define failure? Bad results? Broken relationship? Low pay job? Or just simply not doing good enough?

You don't need a person to tell you that you are a failure. I believe when you constantly can't achieve what you aiming in life, you will self-appointed yourself as a "failure". We will continue to be a failure, until you reach one point in your life, you will tell yourself, "Man, I can't be like this anymore. I don't wanna to screw up my whole life. Enough is enough!!"

However but saying just that is not enough, you need determination which is not easy. Maybe along the way to change, you will repeat the same mistake. You will tell yourself, why you want to torture yourself. Then you will be the oldself, continue to be a failure. Don't give up, stay on to it, with faith inside yourself, with the support from friends and family, you can eventually success and turnover a new leaf.

I went back home last week, when my dad fetched my back home, he said, " Today go here and there, petrol already cost RM30, dunno today got earn that much or not..." I know he's working very hard for the family, I feel bad because I never try that hard. That's why I want to change, to be someone that he will be proud of...

I am going through a very hard time in my life now, sometimes I am very depress and I feel like giving up. But thanks to those who had been supporting me, with passion in my heart and the love from you all, everything will be fine. I hope.

When there is a will, there is a way. So, if you are reading this, let's hope for the best. Wish you all will achieve what you want in life.

"Life is not the amount of breaths you take its the moments that take your breath away." This is one of my favorite quote that inspire me throughout my life.

I am not a big fan of "life" before this, I never really enjoy my life, therefore I never learn to appreciate people around us. Till something happened in my life, then I only realised how naive and stupid I was before. Yet, regrets bring nothing, but only sorrow and sadness. Mistake plays important role in life, it will help you to become a better person. No matter how big was the mistake, do not ever hate your past, because of what you had gone through, you are better person that before.

Before this, I am a person that so passionate about my life. However, people tends to forget who they are and take the wrong path in life. And I was one of them. But thanks to Orientation, it help me to recall who I am and who I was before. I stopped being so obsess with "Dota" where I spend 19 hours of my day playing it. I stopped smoking. Thanks to all passionate OCs, without you all, I won't able to find myself back.

Right now, I just want to live my life to the fullest. Yesterday was totally awesome. From supper end up in the Port Dickson. Sharing and listening by the seaside, with the accompany of moonlight and the sea waves, not to forget the guitar sound and laughters of everyone. Glad that you guys able to make it. Thanks to Alvin, Ken, and Chui Chui. Without you guys driving, yesterday might just be a dream. To those who came, let the passion continue to live in your heart, most importantly, share the passion with people around you!~

The art of life is to live in the present moment, and to make that moment as perfect as we can by the realization that we are the instruments and expression of God Himself.

How many times you speak what you actually feel?
How many times you actually do what you should do?
But....
How many times you say something that you don't mean to say it?
How many times you do something that you shouldn't do at all?

Life is too short for all this craps.

Be true to yourself and others. You actually will see and feel more that anyone else. Nothing beats the feeling sitting with friends talking and sharing as it there is no tomorrow. Nothing is gonna take away the moment of truth, the moment of happiness.

If you haven't try to do this, you probably should wanna start now.

p/s: Old town haven't been so nice as it is. Passion will continue to live in you, as long it comes from our heart.

It had been a long time I didn't write anything here. I just finished being an OC for the MMU Orientation Program for 2008/2009 and it had already became the best time of my life. Through this orientation, I truly benefit a lot from this event. There are a lot of joys and tears throughout this orientation, the feeling of this is indescribable , when 74 OCs shared the love and passion together without differentiation, discrimination of races and religion.

From a stranger to become friend, the feeling is truly awesome. The one week binding camp really bond us together as one. The passion that live inside my heart really helped me to go through all this, even though when I am tired or sicked. I will not forget the moment we all stood up and defended the passion inside us, the moment we spoke out loud the what passion really meant to us. I will never forget the moment we are having tons of fun during the water surprise and even the moment we shared the story of our life without actually care what others will think about us. The moment the tears dropped when we hug each other so tight and told them what we felt towards them. Nothing, nothing is gonna take that away from me.

We all know that nobody is perfect and nobody do no mistake. During the orientation, we really felt this and we try to improve ourself and learn from mistakes. We might not really confident with what we are doing, but everyone showed the effort and guided each each other to go through this. We managed to show the meaning of passion to the freshies. My tears almost come out when everyone shouted "passion!!!" together, because we been through a long long way to achieve this. The moment the music starts playing, we will stand on our feet and dance like crazy, sing like crazy, as it there is no tomorrow. Numa numa, butterfly, 16 steps, Permata Dunia, Those Were The Day, Freshie's song really brought a lot of fun for us, what will Orientation be without all this?

A big thank you and hug to everyone involved in this, thanks to you all for making this event possible. To those supportive friends (you know who you are), the moment shared with you is totally amazing. What can I can say now, why it ended so fast? The end of this orientation is the beginning and the blossom of new friendship, where we called it the beginning of the end. Please, please let the passion continue to live inside us, please let think of what we had been through when you are facing problem, shout the passion out loud and you shall be fine or even feel awesome.

Once and OC, always an OC. Continue to live on your life with passion, no matter what you are doing, it will drive you towards the destination of this journey of life. There are no mountain to high to climb, there are no sea too deep to explore. I shall end it here.

May the passion burn in our heart. Thank you for everything and we should totally hang out more.

Love,
OC Steve